I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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