and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
