I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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