Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Well I just put wine in my tea
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
