you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
and you said cock pushups were impossible
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
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