ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize