whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
