Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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