my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
