Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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