Too much gin, very little bucket
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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