do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize