The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
should my penis look like a turkey
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
