Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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