put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
