i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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