I think I died a long time ago.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
