i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
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You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
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THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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