so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Nicole vs. Life
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
