Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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