It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
