I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
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They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
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Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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