He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
