I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
