ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
