we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
