New invention idea: vibrating tampons
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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