It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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