I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
