He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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