actually, I'm a sock model
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
