I looked at my own cervix.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
