just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
