For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
