So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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