So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
