She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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