My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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