I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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