wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
