Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
