I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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