His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly