I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way