Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
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I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
and you fell through a lawn chair
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend