Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Randomize
