I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Randomize
