Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
