I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize