I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Congratulations! We have a period
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
