Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
