At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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