It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
My liver is preforming stress tests.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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