make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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