I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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