escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
