I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize