I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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