His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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