I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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